A Gift Every Mom Should Give Herself
Mother’s Day weekend has come and gone with the usual fanfare. We give praise to the moms and the hard work they do, the sacrifices they make. Moms do a hard and thankless job.
I stood in church yesterday as we sang Mercy is falling, falling…Lift up your hands receive it now….
I thought about mothering, I thought of all the mistakes I’ve made as a mother. The mishandled anger. The misbehavior I’ve intentionally overlooked. The moments I should have offered love and forgiveness, but instead offered a cold deferential shoulder.
I thought of the mercy I need, specifically as a mom… and lifted my arms to receive it. In truth, it wasn’t always this way.
The gift I would give to my young-mom-self is this truth: You are going to be an amazing mom.
BUT…
You will also fail…more than you’ll want to admit.
You will be tired and have to let go of some things, like rooms cleaned the way YOU want them cleaned and clothing that matches.
You will lose your temper on more than a handful of occasions; sometimes that many times a day.
You will love hard, but that will also devastate you when your frustration is in direct correlation to how much you love your children.
When your child lies to you, you will want to die on the inside, and then fury and hatred will rise in you.
You will say mean words, words meant to hurt your precious young.
You will rue them the moment they escape your lips, but you cannot take them back.
Some days you will be lazy, and you will not always work out their disagreements; sometimes you will tell your kids to forget it and move on.
Some days you will prefer the solace of life in your phone, rather than endless conversations about Paw Patrol or construction machines.
On rare occasions (wink, wink), you will be grumpy and moody; you will not be the airbrushed mom in the magazines.
You will feel ill-equipped at parenting each and every stage, wondering if parenting will always feel like a guessing game.
In short, you will not be the perfect mom. Even on your best days, you will not be the perfect mom. And realizing this? It’s a gift.
You will need God, THE perfect parent, to complete you and to complete you parent. If you think you are enough, you will never ask for help, and you won’t get it. It will just be you, trying- always trying– to be enough. And you won’t be. What will you do then?
I hope you will raise your arms and your eyes to heaven, and lift your broken self to your Father who see you, knows you, and loves you always. His love is extra tender when we come broken and downtrodden. I hope you will receive the mercy He so freely offers.
If we refuse to see our need, we will never lift our hands for rescue. The rescue is amazing. It’s freeing. You’ll never experience such perfect love and mercy. You can stop trying to be ENOUGH, because our God….is ENOUGH. Always.
The heavy weight you carry to work harder, be more loving, do better at consistency, use your inside voice, never let them see you sweat, will be lifted. Acknowledging your weakness brings you to the throne of grace, where God is waiting, and where mercy is always promised.
Give yourself this gift. Tell yourself, right now, aloud: I am a Great Mom. But I know I will not and cannot be a perfect mom. I am not enough, but God is enough. And He has promised to help me. I am not parenting alone. God gives me grace each and every moment.
And then exhale all the expectations you had….and rest, sweet mama.
