5 Ways to Break the Bad Habit of Too Much Screen Time

I love when I can flick off the kitchen light around 10:00 pm with the dishes done, the kids in bed, all is quiet. Ahhhh. My time. What to do with my hour of peace and quiet?

With such a feast of options (Netflix, Hulu, Amazon video, YouTube), activities like reading or a hobby have slid out of favor. If I make my choice by what is easier, entertainment always wins.  Hmmm… sit down to write?Or watch the latest episode of The Good Place? The show wins! It makes me laugh, I can do it while lying down, and it requires exactly zero brain exertion.

I’ve recognized this bad habit in myself. I can either choose to ignore my laziness and poor decisions …or I can be more intentional to make my brain work, and make some better choices.

Have you noticed that certain things used to be relegated to a certain time, like watching tv in most households was the six o’clock news, followed by maybe a show or two?  But slowly we have gotten used to having the tv on all the time? Now, we carry mini tv’s with us everywhere we go, and we can choose entertainment while we sit in the pick-up line at school, or while our kids are finishing lunch. I can binge watch The Crown while making dinner! I can multitask! It used to be listening to a podcast (which at least kept my vision undistracted), but now I put a screen right in front of my cutting board, because why not??

If you also remember back-in-the-day, we watched tv together, as a family, in the living room, in front of the one and only screen in the house. But today, every person has more than one screen! It’s such a temptation to always have a screen in front of our faces!

None of these things are inherently wrong.  BUT.  We are hearing warnings of the effects of screen time on our children’s cognitive and emotional development. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/behind-online-behavior/201604/what-screen-time-can-really-do-kids-brains) Too much screen time impairs cognitive development in not just children, but adults too. It also affects our ability to communicate emotions (see study here). We are deluged with information and entertainment all the time.

As mamas, if we are struggling with making good choices with our time (and I am), how much more our children? We have a responsibility to help our kids make healthy decisions!  We have to lead the way by modeling healthy choices. An easy start could be designating times when we put our phones away and turn the shows off: during meals, while doing homework, and during bed time activities. As an incentive, studies show putting away our phones 30 minutes before bed helps us sleep better at night. (https://sleep.org/articles/ways-technology-affects-sleep/)

What else can we do to break the unhealthy habit of needing (and wanting) constant screen time? Here’s some ideas to help us shift our focus from being entertained to being alive and awake to our best lives.

The most important thing we can do is model moderation in our own screen time. If we are putting limits on our children’s time on devices, are we willing to impose limits on our own devices? It makes me want to do better when I realize my kids are watching my example. If we model to our kids we must be entertained all the time, we can’t be surprised when they follow our lead. If we pick up our phones 70x daily (do you know you can see on your phone how many times you pick it up a day? It’s SHOCKING, truly!), we show them neediness and an unhealthy attachment to an inanimate object. But, we can make changes, and put up our phones for chunks of time. When we choose moderation, we give them a vision of healthy boundaries.

We can designate times when, as a family, we will not be entertained. Instead, we will entertain ourselves.  We will find activities to participate in, not just watch.  We will go outside and enjoy the fresh air and run through the grass and turn cartwheels because WE CAN! We will inhale and exhale and sweat and get out of breath in the sunshine, and it will do our physical and emotional and mental selves good. There’s nothing wrong with going back in time to our childhood, and kicking the kids outside for an hour or so, and letting them entertain themselves (obviously dependant on age and location)! Kids need to be bored. When they are bored they get creative. I promise! Try it! Ignore the complaints of “I’m sooooo bored (a hundred times),” and eventually they will find something to entertain themselves!

We can choose to create rather than demand to be entertained.  We cook a meal, we paint a picture, we color with our toddler, we write a letter or email a friend. We build with LEGOS and arrange flowers in a vase and take a walk in search of spring flowers. If you think, my kids don’t do those things! Well, why not? Could you teach them? Could you find a new hobby together?

We can remember to assemble people, bring people together.  We can assemble to volunteer and take walks and work out.  We can invite our friends over for dinner, with their kids! Is it hard to clean the house and cook a meal? Yes, absolutely! But at the end of the night, will you say it is worth it? Always, always, always! No screen can replace face-to-face time with people we enjoy! We assemble because we know that being with other people brings fulfillment, whereas devices drive us to isolation.

We can choose to live this one life we’ve been given, rather than watching others on a screen live theirs.  Of course, there is nothing wrong with watching a movie or a tv show, but don’t forget to show up to your own life too.  Your life is worth living, even if it’s never featured on a screen. Your kids will see you living your life fully and your life is more inspiring than any movie star or YouTuber! You are living and breathing real right under your kids’ noses, so live it up! Show them you enjoy your life, and they will too!