The Secret to Knowing the WHEN and HOW of Parenting
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. {Ecclesiastes 3:1-8}
I considered these verses often recently, and they have been speaking to me. Do you know, God’s Word is alive, and it speaks to you? It sparks things in your heart and mind and causes the divine words to become alive and to become here-and-now applicable.
I think these verses could be reworded to become a personal reminder, especially for moms:
There is a season for everything, and everything only lasts for a season.
A time to talk and a time to shut up.
A time to play and a time to clean up.
A time to discipline and a time to comfort.
A time for chores and a time for fun.
A time for structure and a time for pillow fights and pajamas.
A time to ground their butts and a time for grace.
A time to wake and times to sleep in.
A time to correct and a moment to teach.
A time for alone time and a time for togetherness.
A time for respect and manners and times to let loose.
A time to wait and a time to make things happen.
A time to work and time to rest.
What we must learn is WHEN.
WHEN to speak.
WHEN to shut our big mouths.
WHEN to call the school.
WHEN to allow drama to play out.
WHEN to help your child navigate friend-difficulty and when to step in and give them assistance.
WHEN to ask a million questions.
WHEN to just give a hug.
WHEN to give advice.
WHEN to let them fail.
WHEN to push and tell them they must finish.
WHEN to quit an activity.
On my own, I don’t know the WHEN’S. I talk when I should listen. I grind harder when I should rest. I work hard at relationships when I should just let them grow on their own. I sing along to songs I have no business trying to sing, and I embarrass my children. On my own, I’m a failure at WHEN.
But I have a Helper. One who whispers to me WHEN. He’s the Holy Spirit, and He is the embodiment of GOD WITH US. He lives within me. He came to be my EVER PRESENT HELP when I asked Jesus to be my Savior.
Some words used to describe who He is:
Comforter
Encourager
Counselor
Spirit of Truth
Will guide into all truth
Will tell you things to come
I have a personal counselor, and I don’t have to pay a copay! I’m joking, but seriously, a counselor, who lives with me, who speaks to me constantly, who leads me into all truth and will tell me what’s ahead?! What a gift!
I’m learning to rely more and more on the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. I believe He is my always-ready, always-available Helper, and that He is more than willing to help me navigate all the decisions I make as a mom. There are so many choices to be made regarding education and health and food and friends and free time, and sometimes the consequences of those choices seem daunting. We have more options and information than ever before, and sometimes that can make life overwhelming. I’ve started giving more space to listen to the voice of God in my heart, maybe not always speaking, but frequently nudging.
It might be the nudge to ask another question to my daughter about how the day really went. Or to ask further about who is going to this’ hang out’ and not just will there be parents there, but calling the parents to confirm they will be home. The nudge might be checking a child’s phone, even when it’s uncool. The nudge might be some alone time with one of your kids who needs you, or maybe thinks they don’t. 
The WHEN and the HOW. I’m always going to need help with those. Now I have the WHO: the Holy Spirit. My helper. My counsel. My truth-teller. I’m not alone, just trying to figure out being a mom all on my own. I’ve been given the gift of GOD, WITH ME. Ever present, and available to counsel and guide me.
Listen, mamas, for the voice of your Helper, in your heart. We may feel we need to make all the decisions immediately, or deal with a situation right now, but even taking two minutes to be still and quiet with God can make a huge difference in how we respond. A silent prayer lifted, ‘God, what should I do?’ ‘How do I handle this?’ ‘Why do I feel weird about this situation?’
*STOP * ASK * LISTEN *
Take a moment in what you’re doing to be still.
Ask for God’s help and wisdom.
Listen and look for God’s voice and direction, even a nudge.
This will help you so much as you parent. There are so many things we.don’t.know. But God does. Invite Him to help you. Trust that he will.
If you’ve not asked Jesus to be your Savior, you don’t need a church or a priest. All you have to do is talk to God and invite Him into your life. He will come into your life and He will help you like He helps me. He will give you the Holy Spirit just for asking, and you will never have to navigate life alone again!
The Scriptures I referenced today are found in John 14 and 16.
