How to Stop Missing Out on Your Good Life

I’m currently obsessing about my weight- the 20 extra pounds I’ve found somewhere in the last couple of years.  Can anyone relate?

I can have ten really amazing things going on in my life, but if there is one annoying thing (like 20 pounds) in my life, it’s like a fly buzzing around my head- – -constant and irritating, it distracts from all the things I should be enjoying.

It seems like at any given time, there is one….or two….or four things that take up too much time and space in my mind. We all go through seasons, and the THING changes, but the distraction remains. It could be a season of caring for a sick loved one, and that is all-consuming. It could be a teen child who is exhibiting harmful or careless behavior. It could be your marriage going through strain in a season of great pressure. All of these things deserve our time and attention.

I find for me, personally, when I become really caught up in the one (or more) thing(s) that is my current nemesis, I sometimes lose my joy. I waste seasons where there were SO MANY things to celebrate/enjoy/relish….and I missed celebrating….because I felt fat (or lonely, or at odds with a child, or stressed out about work, etc…).

I only have one life, and many of these milestones and reasons for happiness only roll by once. I’m tired of being so distracted by the one area that feels out of control, that I miss these causes for joy.

I’d like to share three things that can help us refocus on ALL THE GOOD there is in life, and stop being so distracted by the bad.

1. Choose Joy by Being Grateful. The Bible tells us we are to rejoice always (Philippians 3:1). We are to rejoice NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. It also tells us to give thanks in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:18), because this is God’s will for us! For me to ignore that instruction is to disobey God’s will for me. It’s not optional! Sometimes this might require us to tear our attention away from the area we are struggling in, and intentionally list or write out areas we are thankful for. For example, on the way home, I turn off the radio and think of one thing I can be grateful for with each of my kids. I think of one thing I am grateful for about my husband. I am retraining my mind to dwell on the positives instead of the negative.
2. Choose Surrender This one is a tough one for me because I think I like control. I’ve only recently realized this about myself. I’m no longer a mom to little ones, and I’m amazed at how my understanding has changed. As moms, we control so much of our children’s lives when they are young– and that is completely normal…and a large part of the role of mom. I never realized or defined it as control! That’s just what moms do….we control environments, we control the amount of snacks, we schedule playdates with the kids we like, etc. All natural. It’s very interesting to see how things change as your child starts to question why they have to go along with your control in certain areas of their lives. They start to make their own choices in friends and environments… and snacks. And then, as moms, we sometimes start to freak out; we liked the safeness provided by all the cautious choices we made for our children. It helped me realize why I like control, and why control makes me feel safe.
   • When I talk about struggling to lose weight, it’s an area that feels somewhat out of my control (as in, I’m not controlling it).  When I talk about a child making choices that I don’t agree with, I want to grab back control, to make better decisions than I feel they are making. That’s relatively easy. Control will probably always be easier for me than SURRENDER. What if instead of trying to control, I loosened my grip on the thing?? What if I took that negative ball and chain I’ve been dragging through this season of life, and I tossed it to God? What if I straight-up told Him “I can’t handle this! I’m done trying to control this! I don’t know what to do about this! Can you please help?” And in doing that, I follow to a T the instruction in 1 Peter 5:7 which tells us we are to roll our cares, anxieties, and worries onto God BECAUSE He cares for us and our situation “with the deepest affection!” That is straight Bible!
   • God has more control than I have. God has more resources than I do. God knows everything…and I don’t. God already knows what the future holds. And He cares EVEN MORE THAN I DO. I can trust Him, and I can stop trying to hang onto control I may or may not have had in the first place.
3. Choose Weakness. If you think choosing surrender was hard for me, this one is really hard! I HATE to be weak. I HATE to be defeated in an area. I HATE feeling like a failure. BUT.  Something happens when we acknowledge our weakness. Something big and beautiful and exciting. We bring to God our area of weakness (for me, self-control over my eating), and admit we are frail and needy in this area. And He brings us grace. He says “My grace is enough for you!” He goes on to say “My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in your weaknesses!” His grace comes and gives us the strength and power of Christ! Some of us may have stood in a church before, praying for God’s power in our lives. I know I have. Well, here He spells out exactly how we get that power, and it is by confessing our weaknesses, by working in spite of our weaknesses, by offering our weaknesses to our God who works despite them.

I’m really going to work this week to choose Joy, to choose Surrender, to choose Weakness….and ask God if He will use me in spite of the area that’s been bringing me down. I think if I’ll acknowledge I’ve been failing at losing weight, he will honor that confession and be more able to help me. I think He really wants to me to say “I need help,” or “I need you,” or “I’ve failed,” just so He can finally get involved. Maybe I’ve been trying too hard to control these different areas of my life, that I forgot to invite God in, even in areas I’m weak. I’m a work-in-progress. You too?

I would love to hear what area you think you need to choose Joy, choose Surrender, and choose Weakness. Leave it in the comments, and I will pray for you for that specific area!