discipline,  Parenting

Darn Pine Needles

At our house, my husband and kids insist on a real Christmas tree. We go to the tree lot (same one every year), analyze the trees carefully, and each argue for why the one we picked is indeed, the best. It’s serious business.
Most years we have had success with keeping our trees alive, but this year, about two weeks after picking out this year’s winner, it just stopped sucking up water. It got more and more dry, until it practically rained needles as we walked by.
Usually the tree stays up till the new year, but this year, it was out at the curb two days after Christmas. My husband and son get to do that *fun* task of dragging the tree out. No complaints from me! This year, I’m not sure how it happened, but John also took on the job of vacuuming where the tree had stood. He told me “I got them all. All the needles are cleaned up.” And I know he gave it his best effort. Bless him!
But I chuckle, because I KNOW… I will be seeing pine needles for at least two months. Why? Because they’re sneaky little boogers, and they nestle into cracks and crevices, never to be enticed out.
Today, a mere five days after taking our tree out, I just vacuumed another full canister of pine needles. I found them in the sliding door lip, in between the bannisters on the stairs, and tucked between the carpet and edges of the stairs. I laugh…sneaky little boogers.
And I thought to myself: so many times as we deal with our kids, we confront a bad habit or a disobedience we see, and then we dust our hands off and think we’ve dealt with it. Done.
But so many things in our kids’ lives aren’t just a onetime infraction. They are like pine needles. They must be corrected or disciplined over and over and over again. A once-over vacuum job doesn’t correct the problem. But we so want it to be a once-over….and then…done.
The Bible tells us foolishness is tangled up in the hearts of our children (see Proverbs 22:15). That tells me undoing it isn’t an easy fix. It also reminds me that our children aren’t born knowing how to do the right things. Wisdom isn’t innate. Wisdom is learned. We, as parents, have learned wisdom in some of these areas, and we are passing our wisdom to our children through our discipline and correction. That transfer, that learning process isn’t easy or quick. It takes time. We must respect the process.
I tell you from experience, the key is consistency. It doesn’t matter how many times you correct the problem or issues. It matters that you consistently correct it. Same consequences. Same discussion. Same reminders. Enforcing the same good habits. Be consistent and have faith in your consistency to address the problem, rather than agonize over “I’ve corrected her for the same thing every day this week!”
We can call to mind our own behaviors. Bad habits aren’t fixed on New Year’s Day. We don’t just decide one day that we won’t do XXX anymore and then we just stop. We may have to ‘vacuum’ today, and tomorrow, and then later in the week, and then next week….
Don’t get discouraged when you feel you keep correcting the same problems with your son or daughter, many times over. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing it right. It just means that some things are going to take many times before you stop seeing the problem anymore. Just keep vacuuming.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.